To All The Men I Loved Before

I love men. I mean I absolutely LOVE them. They may be their own unique creatures that I will never fully understand, but that is why I love them so. And if you have read my blog you will know that I was destined to feel this way. I have also known quite a few men in my life; as in the biblical sense. These men have come from all different walks of life and culture. That is the reason they excite me so. I love change and new adventures. Today I am going to give my opinion about the different men I have known.

Chinese Men: Can completely satisfy you in bed, leaving you spent. After about an hour, however, that feeling will fade and you will need to do it again.

Redneck, Hillbilly Men: Love to do it in the mountains. Just make sure you duck when you have finished so he can spit his tobacco out the car window.

Tall, Skinny Men: Usually have the biggest wangers. Unfortunately I despise weighing more than my partner.

Small Wanger Men: Not able to do a whole lot with the equipment but they are willing to do anything to make up for the size.

Italian Men: Hot in bed and can cook a great meal afterwards. Make sure you eat their food after sex. The garlic breath will kill the mood.

Young Men: Not as experienced but you can certainly train ‘em well.

Old Men: Cannot always perform. If unable to rise to the occasion, they usually have deep pockets that can buy you some great gifts.

Irish Men: Really know how to kiss that Blarney Stone!

Ex-Husbands: My favorite because you can keep screwing ‘em by collecting the alimony and not have to put up with their shit!