He Loved Abundantly...

Now that I have introduced the six generations of women in my family I must describe the men in my family. Millie’s husband, Sam, and her son, Frank, were both deceased by the time I was born. I only knew them by the few stories I had heard of them. Sam, I was told, was a kind man. I believe that Millie was the domineering partner in the marriage. After his death she never remarried. She did not feel the need to have a man in her life. She had Dolly to focus all of her energy. Millie never spoke of Frank much. His suicide was just too painful for her. Maybe because it hurt Millie so, Dolly didn’t speak much of him either.

Dolly met her first husband, Pat, when they were still teenagers. Pat had movie star good looks and more charm than Clark Gable. He was gregarious, entertaining, passionate. He and Dolly were so much alike, probably too much so. Dolly would say that he took her humor away from her. He would spend hours on end mastering and showing off his magic tricks. She did not relish the competition. Their marriage only lasted a short time. Pat went to the store one day and never came back. He really had not abandoned her. She had left him long before he left her. I believe that the end of their marriage was heartbreaking to him. Dolly, on the other hand, moved on with her life.

Leaving Dolly was probably the best decision for Pat. He met a beautiful, reserved young woman, Betty. She loved him and the five children they had together. With her love and support he became a self-made millionaire. She devoted herself completely to her husband and family. She loved him more than anyone before or after her. Sadly, it just wasn’t enough for Pat. Her passion was just too different to suit his needs. He was always a good man and she was always a fine woman, yet he was still searching for that one woman.

During this time, Pat became known to practically everyone in his community. Undoubtedly any place he patronized someone always recognized him. Unlike Dolly, however, he always knew their name. He was respected and revered. He also encountered a woman that could match his passion. Not long after they met, Pat fell in love and married Jean. Unfortunately, her desires were not always focused on Pat. They divorced after her many indiscretions.

He briefly married another woman. The pairing was so insignificant I am unable to even recall her name. Then to Pat’s surprise he met the woman that he would proclaim the love of his life. She was forty-four years his junior. She, like Pat, had led a hard scrabble life. He loved to entertain her, his family and the entire neighborhood singing karaoke in their garage. His sounds rivaled those of Sinatra, Nat King Cole and Tony Bennett. To his utter dismay, his love did not prove enough for her. During their union, through no fault of his own, he lost his empire. Then he lost her. His fiery Denise. Until the day he died he never truly got over her.

In his last days he lived with his daughter, my mom, Kathy. They had never really know each other but they became best friends in his final years. He became closer to all of his children. When he passed away he had no regrets. Pat discovered that his one true love was actually his devoted family. He had lived many lives, laughed many laughs, and loved many loves. Our family is grateful that he lived with us, laughed with us and loved with us.